Deepest Fears
by Hermione L. Granger
Summary: Post-GOF Ron and Hermione both deal with telling their families about the danger. R/Hr
1. Dear Hermione

Deepest Fears  
  
By: Hermione L. Granger  
  
Disclaimer: I only own the voices inside their heads.  
  
A/N: a little weird, thought it up during church.  
  
  
Ron leaned back into the living room chair, stretching his long legs in front of him. As he snuggled into the couch he began to wonder how his mother was going to explain it all. On his left, the twins were both whispering to one another, a solemn look covering both of their faces. It was disheartening seeing those two like that. Sighing, Ron looked around the room, watching Ginny for a moment as she rocked back and forth staring at her hands. She hadn't been the same since Diggory's death.  
  
Percy was sitting rigidly on the couch with his two older brothers reading through reports. If Ron had thought Percy had been passionate about his work before, it was nothing compared to now. Since the general panic that had swept the wizarding world after Ron's fourth year, Perc had thrown himself into his work, almost as if he worked harder it'd all go away.   
  
Charlie was in-between Bill and Percy flipping through a magazine without really reading it. Ron knew it had been frustrating for Charlie...not being at Hogwarts on the night of the third task, much less not being in the country. Since then he had pretty much continually popped into the Burrow once a week, something Ron knew must've been tiring to him.  
  
Bill, on the other hand, had completely moved back to England. He was willing to take on whatever Dumbledore threw at him, and was now sitting next to Ron biting his cuticles off. The whole clan was settled in the living room, to hear from Mrs. Weasley what exactly had gone on....Ron realized for the first time that his siblings were all going to know about Sirius in a minute. Charlie would learn what had actually happened on the night of the third task.   
  
With another sigh, Ron picked up Standard Book of Spells Year 5, and began on chapter four. With a smirk he thought of how proud Hermione would be knowing he was actually studying for the year ahead. One did have to be prepared.  
  
"I suppose I should talk to you lot now," Mrs. Weasley said as she walked into the living room. Nervously, she pressed down her apron and looked around at her children as she took a seat, completing the circle of seats around the room.   
  
"We'll start with the small stuff," she continued. Ginny stopped twitching but still stared at her hands. Both twins looked at their mother, their conversation stopping instantly. Percy gently placed his work down as Charlie slung the magazine on the floor. Bill folded his hands and stared at his mother. Ron continued to read. No one noticed.  
  
"Firstly, Sirius Black," she said with a small tremble, meeting her children's eyes, "He's innocent. Dumbledore trusts him, Harry trusts him, so-"  
  
"What do you mean he's innocent?" Charlie demanded sitting up. The others were similarly looking at her with a look of alarm.  
  
"Well, he apparently didn't kill those Muggles and his other friend Philip-"  
  
"Peter," Ron interrupted, "Peter Pettigrew. It turns out he was the Potter's secret keeper, not Sirius."  
  
"How do you know that?" Percy asked forcefully, "Pettigrew is dead."  
  
"No, he's not," Ron replied calmly looking up from his book, "He's alive. It's a long story. Basically-James Potter, Sirius Black, Pettigrew, and Professor Lupin were all friends when they were in Hogwarts. Lupins a werewolf-" here he paused for a moment as Ginny and his mother both gasped and George dropped the pen he was holding- "So his three best friends became animagus so they could hang out with him during the full moon. Pettigrew was a rat. Scabbers to be exact-"this time he paused for the women to shriek and for Percy to jump up- "and he was the traitor. When Black 'blew up' the street, it was actually Pettigrew who did it, and just as it happened, he cut off his finger to be found and escaped as a rat. And only Sirius, Pettigrew, and the Potters knew he was the secret keeper. With no one to speak for Sirius, he was locked up." With that, Ron went back to his book.  
  
"So- Harry trusts Black?" Bill asked after a moment.  
  
"We all do," Ron replied, "He's been living in a cave outside of Hogsmeade to keep on eye on Harry all year, we visited him up there once, he was living off of rats so we were sending him food after that."  
  
"Where's he now?" Bill asked.  
  
"At Professor Lupins."  
  
"The werewolf's?" Fred asked.  
  
"He's at Professor Lupins," Ron repeated a little more testily that time. The matter was dropped.  
  
"Well," Mrs. Weasley continued more than a little shaken now, "I suppose that was the little stuff. Now-well-Bill knows, and-" she closed her eyes, not wanting to hurt her children like this. She took a deep breath to spit it out.  
  
"Voldemort's back." There was a gasp around the room as all heads turned to stare at Ron, who was still involved with his book, "You heard me," he repeated, "Voldemort's back."  
  
"You-you said his name" Ginny whispered, the first noise she had made all day.  
  
"Yeah, I got over the big fear thing about the time I realized he's probably going to be the one to kill me," Ron replied sarcastically.  
  
"Ron!" his mother exclaimed.  
  
"What Mum?" he asked standing up, "What? You don't want me to say something that's probably true? I'm Harry Potter's best friend, and if he's fighting, I'm fighting right there with him, and if he's not fighting, then I'm fighting to protect him anyways. Voldemort hates us-me, Harry, and Hermione-to think even one of us is going to get through this alive is nothing short of a lie. And if one of them dies, or even worse both of them, there's not going to be much of a point in me sticking around anyway." With that, Ron picked up his book and stormed up to his room. His family could hear the door slam all the ways down stairs.  
  
For a while Ron laid on his bed and listened, he could hear after a moment, Ginny began to cry, the twins began to whisper again, Charlie was asking Billy more details about what had just happened, Percy's quill could be heard scratching against his work. But Ron was restless now. His speech to his family just made him realize what had been gnawing at the back of his mind for the past four weeks. He moved over to his dresser and began.  
  
  
  
Dear Hermione- (that seemed like a good start)  
  
  
  
How's your summer been? Mine's been kind of - (to peppy)  
  
  
  
  
  
Dear Hermione-  
  
  
  
So have you gone to visit Vick - (don't bring that up again you idiot)  
  
  
  
  
  
(Just write what you feel)  
  
  
  
Dear Hermione-  
  
  
  
I miss you. (Good Weasley) The summer's not the same without you here to bug me about homework. (Keep it light but not too light) It's weird not having anyone to talk to about this-you know, Voldemort situation.  
  
Mum told the rest of the family about Sirius. It's strange having other people know after so long. She tried to tell them about Voldemort but I beat her to it. I kind of-I kind of freaked out on them, (don't tell her that) I went into this speech about how I'm going to fight, and we'll probably die (oh right, this is a cheery note, start over again you big prat) and it just made me realize that one of us-me you and Harry-we can't all make it out of this alive. (stop it. you don't let Hermione know your biggest fears. what do you think your-) And it also made me realize that I couldn't stand it if you weren't there with me, I mean, with you being Muggle-born, I just don't know what I'd do without you-(smooth Weasley, why don't you just tell her you like her?)  
  
Hermione, I like you, I mean I really like you. Like, as more than as a friend. And I understand if you don't care about me, or if you just don't want me, of if you're still with Vicke-Victor, and you can just feel free to ignore this whole letter in general, I just really wanted to let you know how I feel.  
  
  
  
(At least apologize for spilling your guts to her.)  
  
  
  
Sorry,  
  
Ron  
  
  
  
Before he could think about it too much, Ron sealed the note, addressed it, and sent it off with Pig. Sighing, he laid face first onto his bed.  
  
(WHAT DID YOU JUST DO??)  
  
"Shut up," he mumbled to the annoying voice inside his head. He had just told his family he expected to die, he had just told his best friend he was in love with her. And those were the least of his problems. 


	2. Dear Ron

Part 2  
  
"Yes, we are in danger," Hermione confirmed to her parents, "Voldemort hates Muggles - non-magical people-and muggle borns like me."  
  
"What should-what should we do?" her father asked. Hermione imagined it must be hard for him, having no control over what was happening.  
  
"My professor- Professor McGonagall- placed a few charms on the house and your office, we're reasonably protected right now," Hermione reassured him.  
  
"I love you honey," her mother whispered as Hermione stood to go back upstairs.  
  
"I love you too Mum," Hermione replied giving her mother a kiss. With that she retreated back to her room.  
  
She had just opened her book Standard Book of Spells Year 5 when Pig flew in her window and passed out on her bed. Anxiously, she tore open the letter.  
  
  
  
Dear Hermione-  
  
I miss you. (He misses me?) The summer's not the same without you here to bug me about homework. (Very funny Ron.) It's weird not having anyone to talk to about this-you know, Voldemort situation. (Voldemort? when did he start saying his name?)  
  
Mum told the rest of the family about Sirius. It's strange having other people know after so long. She tried to tell them about Voldemort but I beat her to it. I kind of-I kind of freaked out on them, ( he freaked out?) I went into this speech about how I'm going to fight, and we'll probably die (Oh God Ron, don't think that.) and it just made me realize that one of us-me you and Harry-we can't all make it out of this alive. (he can't really think that, we'll be fine-won't we?) And it also made me realize that I couldn't stand it if you weren't there with me, I mean, with you being Muggle-born, I just don't know what I'd do without you-(he's never been this sweet-he must be really upset.)  
  
Hermione, I like you, I mean I really like you. Like, as more than as a friend. (OH MY GOD!!!!!) And I understand if you don't care about me, (of course I care about you) or if you just don't want me, (of course I want you-wait a minute....) of if you're still with Vicke-Victor, and you can just feel free to ignore this whole letter in general, I just really wanted to let you know how I feel.  
  
  
  
  
  
Sorry, (what for?)  
  
Ron  
  
  
  
With a sigh, Hermione put down the letter and smiled. But only for a moment. Her happiness at Ron finally telling her how she felt was quickly masked by the remembrance of why he wrote the letter. He was upset. And he had just put many thoughts into her head that she didn't want to face right then. What if one of them did die?  
  
(Then don't let him die without letting him know how you feel girl!)  
  
  
  
  
  
Dear Ron- (original Granger)  
  
  
  
  
  
Hey Ron- (oh, let's sound like we don't give a shit, shall we?)  
  
  
  
  
  
Ron- (don't be insensitive or anything)  
  
  
  
  
  
Dear Ron, (back too the old-)  
  
  
  
I miss you as well. (glad we sound like a snob)  
  
  
  
  
  
Dear Ron,  
  
  
  
I miss you too, and it is tough being away from both you and Harry. I trust you're doing your studies (insufferable know-it-all, he'll really like you if you bring up school)  
  
  
  
  
  
(Just write what you feel.)  
  
  
  
Dear Ron,   
  
  
  
I miss you too, and it is tough being away from both you and Harry. I know what you mean about Voldemort-it's scary being in another world without any idea about what's going on. You'll keep me updated will you?  
  
I'm glad the rest of your family knows about Sirius. That is more people on your side, although your right (you're saying he's right about something) for once, it is weird having others know. And about the death and the idea of facing Voldemort-I'm just as scared as you are. (why'd you go off and tell him you feel like him? He'll only make fun of you) I didn't want to think about it, but when I got your letter I realized we will be fighting-both of us. And as much as I want to help-I don't want to die. (well who does dumbass?) and I couldn't live without you and Harry you two are as important to me as magic is.   
  
And I-I like you too. I always have, and I do care about you Ron, more people care about you than you realize. You just wait and see.  
  
  
  
What's there to be sorry about?  
  
Hermione  
  
  
She revived Pig and sent the letter back off with him. As she lay down back on her bed she closed her eyes, and prepared to face her deepest fears. 


	3. Proving Hermione Wrong

Part 3  
  
A/N: Brownie points to anyone who knows where Bill's line to Ron as he opens the door and Ron's response came from. And I hope y'all enjoy this part-I wasn't planning to have any more. And if you want a companion to this pice, go read Of Flying Cars and Motercycles.  
  
  
  
It had been three days since he had sent Pig off to Hermione. She must've gone out of town. (Without telling you?) Or maybe Pig didn't make it. (When has Pig ever not made it?) Or maybe she just-  
  
(Maybe she just doesn't like you.)  
  
With a groan, Ron fell back onto his bed. He was an idiot to send that letter. He was an idiot to tell his family what he thought. Basically, Ron felt like an all around idiot. He hadn't heard back from Hermione, and his family was now whispering around him. Charlie had moved back in and had begun sleeping in Ron's room on the floor. Well, maybe sleeping wasn't the right word. Char would sit there and watch Ron all night. He hadn't had a decent night's sleep in the past 3 days. It made Ron feel a bit guilty, but hey-it was his choice.  
  
But now, for now he was alone, and waiting for Hermione's answer. Waiting to see if he had truly ruined his life...or if it was just that damn voice lying to him again.  
  
"RON!" came a call from the stairs, "Ron!! Are you still up there sulking?" Bill's voice carried up the stairs and grew louder as it got closer to him.   
  
Ron just sighed and rolled towards the wall, ignoring his older brother. He didn't feel like answering anymore questions.  
  
"Ron," Bill breathed as he opened the door, "Where in God's name have you been?"  
  
"Right here Bill," Ron answered simply, still facing the wall.  
  
"Stop being such a damn smart ass," Bill snapped, "Ginny's worried about you."  
  
"Just Ginny?"  
  
"Damnit Ron, stop being so insensitive!" Bill yelled has he shut the door with a thud, "Mum's been having kittens about you, Charlie hasn't slept a wink, Ginny won't stop crying, and all because of you!"  
  
"All because of me?" Ron asked rolling over to look at Bill, "So this whole thing is my fault?"  
  
"The situation about You-know-who isn't your fault Ron," Bill answered, his voice softening a bit, "It's not anybody's fault. But in speaking terms of our family, yes it is your fault. What is it with you lately Ron? Everyone's been worried about you."  
  
"Do you remember your last summer home after Hogwarts Bill?" Ron suddenly demanded, "Do you? Because I do. I was only about five, and I kept thinking...wow. This great guy named Bill is coming home to visit me, I don't actually remember him, but from the way the twins and Perc talk about him, he's got to be cool. Maybe he'll actually pay attention to me." Ron stood up, "And Mum went to pick you and Charlie up from the station and bring you home, and Grandmum stayed with the five of us, paying no attention to me what so ever.   
  
"She had even brought stuff for us-well them really. Ginny got a little make-up kit that she couldn't figure out, the twins got a set of trick wands, Perc got some new books, she had a new pair of boots for you, and a broom repair kit for Charlie, but you know what Bill? She didn't bring me anything. You could tell afterward she felt bad, and she apologized and fretted over me-for about two seconds before the twins set off dungbombs and Perc started yelling and Ginny started crying. And then she just left me in the corner.  
  
"But that was alright then. I didn't mind. Cause Bill was coming home. Charlie always forgot about me, but I barely knew you. Maybe you'd be different then everyone else. Maybe you actually care about me.  
  
"So Mum brings you home, and you ruffle the twins hair, you swing Ginny around, and give Percy a pat on the back. And then you walk up to me. You kneel down and front of me and you remember what you said? You said, 'Hey Jon. How ya doin?' Then without even waiting for an answer, you walked off." Ron took a deep breath."You didn't even know my name Bill. What a great first memory. Gran forgets me, and you don't even know my name. That was the last time I cried. I cried in my room, up here, by myself, for four hours. And no one came to get me."  
  
"Ron-" Bill began.  
  
"Funny you all remember me now that I'm friends with Harry," he muttered before laying back down on the bed facing the wall again.  
  
"You know that's not-"  
  
"Just leave Bill," Ron replied scathingly. Realizing he was probably doing more harm than good, Bill retreated.  
  
(He didn't deserve that. Don't take your anger out on your family.)  
  
"I'll take my anger out on whoever I bloody want too," Ron muttered, "And SHUT UP."  
  
(I'm sure Hermione would just love seeing you act like this.)  
  
"And what's that suppose to mean?" Ron demanded the air, "What's that suppose to mean?"  
  
But whatever the voice was going to say was interrupted by Pig. He crash landed into the wall and passed out on the spot, but he had a letter. Ron picked the unconscious bird up, tore the letter off, and dropped Pig on his head again. He ripped open the note.  
  
  
  
Dear Ron,   
  
I miss you too, and it is tough being away from both you and Harry. (Oh great, Harry too.) I know what you mean about Voldemort-it's scary being in another world without any idea about what's going on. You'll keep me updated will you?   
  
I'm glad the rest of your family knows about Sirius. That is more people on your side, although your right (she's saying I'm right about something) for once, it is weird having others know. And about the death and the idea of facing Voldemort-I'm just as scared as you are. (just as scared as me....) I didn't want to think about it, but when I got your letter I realized we will be fighting-both of us. And as much as I want to help-I don't want to die. (I don't either) and I couldn't live without you and Harry you two are as important to me as magic is. (oh wizards)  
  
And I-I like you too. I always have, and I do care about you Ron, more people care about you than you realize. You just wait and see. (what's she playing at?)  
  
  
What's there to be sorry about? (everything)  
  
Hermione  
  
  
Ron read through the letter a few times more before sinking down onto his bed. He tried to prove her last statements wrong-nobody cared about him, they all forgot him.  
  
(Then why did Charlie get you a chess set when you were four?)  
  
He just got lucky-  
  
(Why have Fred and George always tried their experiments on you first?)  
  
I'm just an easy target-  
  
(Why does Ginny always come to you when one of the others makes fun of you instead of Bill or Charlie?)  
  
I dunno-  
  
(Why did Bill write you every week when he moved to Egypt?)  
  
He-  
  
(Why does Perc always talk to you?)  
  
Maybe-  
  
(Why does your dad only let you into his Muggle toolshed?)  
  
Well-  
  
(Why does your mum always make you an extra sandwich at lunch?)  
  
She-  
  
(Face it Ron. You're family cares about you. Now get your ass down there and apologize.)  
  
"Alright, alright," Ron finally gave in, and dropped the note as he headed down to Ginny's room.  
  
"Hey Gin?" he called through her door. There was no answer. After a few more calls, Ron finally heard a soft click when she unlocked the door. Ron gently pushed it open and walked in and took a seat on her bed where she was laying staring at the wall much like he had been doing earlier that day.  
  
"Listen Gin-I'm sorry alright? I really am," Ron mumbled looking at the floor, "It's just-this whole Voldemort thing is-well it's scary. And I guess I'm just-well I'm scared. I'm really scared Ginny and I-" he was suddenly interrupted by Ginny's hands being thrown around his neck and her head sobbing onto his shoulder.  
  
"Ginny, don't," Ron stuttered patting her head, "You know I'm bad with girls and crying."  
  
"Oh Ron," can Ginny's muffled voice from his shirt, "You prat." It took a few more minutes of Ginny's muffled sobs and Ron patting her head until she spoke again.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm just so-I'm scared too Ron," she admitted, pulling back from him, "And I do worry about you, greatly. I'm sorry I've been so over-reactive."  
  
"It's not your fault," Ron reassured her, "Hermi's scared too she's-"  
  
"Oh, Hermione?" Ginny asked with her first smile in days, "Now what does Hermione have to say on all of this?"  
  
"She's just - Get that smirk off of your face Gin," Ron said flinging a pillow at her.  
  
"Why?" Ginny asked actually looking excited, "I just think that someone fancies her, and I think that someone is you!"  
  
"Oh goody, you've really figured me out," Ron replied sarcastically.  
  
"You DO fancy her!" Ginny exclaimed.  
  
"Yes, that's ancient history, didn't you know Gin?" he asked teasingly, "And she happens to feel the same way about me, so if you wouldn't mind.."  
  
"Ahh!!!" Ginny squealed as she hopped off the bed, with the most energy Ron had seen in her in weeks, "this is just perfect!! I'm going to ask Mum if she can come visit soon!!" Without waiting for Ron to answer Ginny bolted down the stairs to where her mother was cooking dinner. Ron followed her at a bit more leisurely pace.  
  
"And I just think it'd be better for her here, don't you agree Mum?" Ginny's voice floated up the stairs, "And I really would be a bit more cheerful with another girl around, it's just so gloomy with a bunch of guys, there's no one to talk too."  
  
"Well, alright honey," a startled Mrs. Weasley replied, "Go write to her, tell her she can come whenever she'd like." Ron was almost at the bottom of the stairs when Ginny ran smack into him.  
  
"She said yes! Isn't this just perfect?" she squealed before darting past. Ron sighed after her before descending the stairs to deal with the rest of his family.  
  
  
2nd A/N: uh....not to be annoying, but join the RWWB. (The Ron Weasley Worshiping Bannas.) if ya wanna join, email me @ chickfix@aol.com or Phoenix Angel @ OctopusReaches@aol.com no metma members please. THANKS!!! 


End file.
